There are usually great conversations to be had about concerts: the first show you ever saw, best concert ever, which now-dead artist to you most regret never seeing before they died, etc.
But what about the fictitious band or singer who would put on the best concert, in your opinion? That’s what this is about.
Ground Rules
I might have to disqualify these fantastic fake bands because they actually have played live: Spinal Tap, The Blues Brothers, Otis Day & The Knights, The Monkees, The Commitments, Flight Of The Conchords, Lenny and the Squigtones, The Partridge Family
We're also going to disqualify cartoon bands; apologies to The Archies and Josie & The Pussycats. Is it fair that Muppets are still allowed? Let's not get lost in the process. Let's just enjoy this. That said, I hated leaving off The Be Sharps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVRcmnVYlLI
Lastly, Prince & Morris Day aren't quite fictionalized enough in Purple Rain for the purposes of this exercise.
Dewey Cox Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
You get so many genres in a Dewey Cox show: country, rock and roll, lush Brian Wilson arrangements, verbose Dylan stuff. Tell me you wouldn't love to see that show. It’s a hell of a ride.
Tony Ferrino The Tony Ferrino Phenomenon
Steve Coogan is synonymous with his Alan Partridge character, but I feel either Saxondale or Tony Ferrino is his greatest creation. The Tony Ferrino album is incredible start to finish; "Silence Of The Lambs" is my ringtone for my sister. The entire special can be found here.
Clash At Demonhead Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
I like them so much better than Scott Pilgrim's band it's not even funny and I resent him for breaking them up. In reality, their music was written by real-life band Metric; so this band almost does exist.
The Style Boyz Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Sure, their early stuff with "Donkey Roll" was what made this band but you can tell with "Incredible Thoughts" that the whole band was evolving.
Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem The Muppet Show
I have you seen a better horn section from either a fictional or real band? Just like a Dead show could be disappointing if Jerry was on the junk, the same goes for Janice in DT&TEM. It's an all-star band, and Animal is the felt Keith Moon.
Test Pattern Documentary Now!
The real world has Talking Heads and the fictional world gets Test Pattern. I agree with Marky in the band, "I don't love the Balinese stuff"; the rest is art-rock gold. I still regret kinda knowing about but not attending to be an extra in the theater when they filmed this episode.
The Schmenges The Last Polka, SCTV
Yes, it's polka but this really is The Last Waltz of polka. Yosh and Stan toss so many little playful things in their arrangements, the knowledgeable music lover is the ideal audience. And when you throw in special guest Linsk Minyuk as a bonus, that's why this is in the Top 10.
Infant Sorrow / Aldous Snow Get Him To The Greek, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Aldous Snow is a legitimate rockstar. You wouldn't like to see a live show of "The Clap", "Going Up" and "Inside You"? Sure, when they launch into "African Child" it's time to duck out to the restroom - but the rest of the evening is gold.
The Blue Jean Committee Documentary Now!
It's a rock tragedy that they broke up so soon. Seeing them live and catching Clark's famous falsetto would be mind-blowing. Plus, there would certainly be plenty of Catalina Coolers at the concession stand.
Buckaroo Banzai & The Hong King Cavaliers The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension
That neurosurgeon test pilot is a hell of a frontman. The band is rock solid as well: Perfect Tommy, New Jersey, Reno, Rawhide, et al. An indescribable 80s movie relic, and peak John Lithgow. Remember, wherever you go: there you are.
Randy Watson & Sexual Chocolate Coming To America
Yes, there's not a lot of originals in his catalogue. We all know his killer interpretation of "The Greatest Love Of All" but everybody's on their feet for "We Are Family."
The Rutles All You Need Is Cash, Rutland TV
Eric Idle and Neil Innis absolutely crushed it walking a thin line between close parodies of The Beatles but with enough originality for these songs to succeed on their own. The Beatles never toured after 1965 so you get more variety in a live show with The Rutles.
T.T. and Mario Saturday Night Live
Warning if you're looking for the record, "The Best of T.T. and Mario is not really available." I would absolutely be there for 90 minutes of songs about roller skating and tight booties.
Stillwater Almost Famous
Just outside the Top 10 just because they seem stuck in 70s rock. Lots of people make the mistake of thinking this is all about guitarist golden god Russell Hammond; don't sleep on lead singer Jeff Bebe: "I look for the guy who isn’t getting off, and I make him get off."
Mouse Rat Parks & Recreation
They started as a Dave Matthews cover band but really evolved. "5000 Candles In The Wind" is an anthem for horsey heaven. And you might just get a walk on guest from Duke Silver or Johnny Karate.
The Wonders That Thing You Do!
We all know The One-Ders for their hit, "The Thing You Do" but I'm posting the clip of Lenny singing lead on "Dance With Me Tonight". Outside of this movie, several of these songs really could stand alone nicely.
The Silver Platters The Brady Bunch
I didn't even like the Brady Bunch as much as the next kid. But these Silver Platters songs seriously hold up. And they weathered the storm of Greg almost leaving the group to focus on his short-lived Johnny Bravo career.
5 Neat Guys SCTV
The hits keep on coming "I'm The Goof In The Classroom", "She Does It", "Let's Have A Party In My Rec Room", "Don't Step On My Clip-On Tie". Sure it's old-fashioned, but I'll be in the front near the stage for this one.
The New Main Street Singers A Mighty Wind
I wanted to get cute and link "The Good Book Song" which is really worth your time. But how could I leave out the bonkers Terry Bohner harmonies from this neuftet. They've got more hits than you think, including "Potatoes In The Paddy Wagon."
Hep Alien Gilmore Girls
Sure they're not a huge act, drawing the late night spot at CBGB's and touring church halls, but they're not bad! Plus, as one of the few heterosexuals on the planet to have watched the full G-squared series, I had to include it. (Yes, that's Skid Row's Sebastian Bach in there.)
The Honeybees Gilligan's Island
This castaway girls' group started just as a reaction to The Mosquitos ending up on the island but the girls had a better act and better songs; but I could have done without Lovey Howell's solo.
Bob Roberts Bob Roberts
A pure guilty pleasure, I wouldn't be able to admit that I paid money to see a fascist reactionary folk singer. But damn the songs are catchy. In reality, Tim Robbins didn't release an album because he thought people would sing along with the uber right wing sentiment. He was probably right.
Three Times One Minus One Mr. Show
They appeared a few times on Mr. Show including "Eww Girl, Eww" but also in the Ronnie Dobbs move with "The Greatest Love In History". After a while you do see them repeating themselves a bit. Damn.
Lou Canova Broadway Danny Rose
There are more famous crooners out there but "Agita" was catchy as hell. And if you caught Lou in NYC there was no telling what celebs you'd rub shoulders with at the show.
Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution Arrested Development
They kind of remind me of the reai-life The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, except more corporate.
Eddie & The Cruisers Eddie & The Cruisers
The Springsteen vibes are undeniable. And Eddie was really showing some great artistic development on that last second album, if only the band wasn't fighting him. That said, the Rimbaud poetry references were a bit pretentious.
Jackie Rogers, Jr. SCTV
When I want a Vegas-style show from a triple threat of an entertainer, gimme Jackie! He overcame a lot: albinism, Jackie Sr. being mauled to death on camera - but Jackie remains. He went on to host the game show "Jackie Rogers Jr.’s Jackpot Wad.
The Sorels Streets Of Fire
Yes, it's Ellen Aim and the Attackers that's the main band in the film, but I'd rather buy a ticket for The Sorels, who seem like The Temptations with a bit more rock and roll in there.
